Changeover...

It's always been really hard for me to say goodbye to friends that are leaving, or that I am leaving. But this time around, it's friends that are leaving. I must say the Lord has truly been at work in my heart, since I have been here. I have been writing so much lately, and some days I'm really not sure where it comes from. Although, I really do like documenting my life, that maybe I can actually remember it.

Well, the kids left yesterday, and now it is officially 3rd term. It's really exciting for new staff to come in, but it also makes me really nervous at the same time. I had to step outside of my comfort zone this summer, to meet 2nd term staff, because I didn't come to staff training. Stepping out wasn't easy for me, but I did it, and in return I met a lot of amazing men and women. God, has really been challenging me to step outside of my box for a while now, and I am really glad I did. So now that it's 3rd term, I have a whole new set of staff to meet and to learn from. And it's nice to finally have two people here that I actually know from back home!

I am still unsure of why the initial meeting people is so hard for me. It shouldn't be, I mean I used to be a cheerleader, I feel like I would have to be outgoing enough to be able to just introduce myself to someone. Hah, and maybe I am just over analyzing things, as usual.


Regardless, it's 3rd term. God is good, so let's get it.

Kamp, with a side of Zoo.

Ahhhh, today was super exciting! It was a pretty relaxed day. I did my normal routine of insanity, super early this morning. After insanity, was breakfast, and the rest of the day was sort of a blur. I know we had to make a wal-mart trip to pick up some reprints of pictures, but I am really not sure of what happened from around lunch until like 4:30 this afternoon. I know I ended up taking a nap, but there is a gap in my schedule.
Around 4:30, I woke up, and got asked if I wanted to go to the zoo. And of course I wanted to the zoo. Who doesn't want to go to the zoo. Haha, but it was great. They had the cutest camel ever, and it was only 4 months old. So cute.




All in all it was a great day!! :D

Love God. Love People.

What's been on my heart lately...

Dear Lord,
Thank you for teaching me so much in the past couple of weeks while I have been at kamp. I still can't believe it has already been four months since me and Jessie split. It's good to know that you are here through everything. Every season of my life is different, but I am glad you are faithful and that you are always there. I'm thankful that you never leave me or give up on me. Also, I am thankful that you are always willing to wrap your arms around me and embrace me when I need you. And even when I don't think I need you or I try to convince myself I don't need you, you are always there.
But Lord, I am thankful that you have been a consistent in my life, no matter how inconsistent I am with you. But I am trying to get on a schedule.
Father I thank you for who you are, and for your word to be able to teach me who I am supposed to be. I know that I may mess things up, but I am learning. Learning to trust that your plan is better than mine. That one day you are going to bring an amazing MOG in my life. One that treats me like I am supposed to be treated. That respects me, and someone that brings the best out in me. Someone who is going to be a spiritual leader in my life and my family's life. Father, you are going to bring someone amazing into my life. But I know as of right now, you want to romance me like no one else ever could. You want me to fall so deeply in love with you, that there is only room for you.
Father, teach me to do your will. Help me to bring you my problems first before I speak to others about them. Because sometimes i just need to talk to you about them. Help me focus solely on you because you are all I need. Everything I do is to bring you glory. I want everything I do to be reflected back to you. I want every step I take to be one step closer to you. I want to always be in fingertip distance from you. Even when I don't feel like I'm being a Christian, I will push forth in this race I am running for you. I understand that I may not always feel you, but you are always there waiting for me to just turn to you. Waiting for me to just come to you with open arms and an open heart and to just be real with you. To be open and be truthful, because you already know what's going on, without me even telling you.
I want my excitement about you Lord to stay constant. I am learning a lot of new things about you and about myself every day. And it's definitely been an adventure. You are definitely pushing me outside of my box to meet new people and to have real honest relationships with them. And to connect with them on a deeper level. To allow them to be spiritual role models in my life. For them to be a spiritual backbone for me.
Father, everything I am searching for is what you have waiting for me. Just help me be completely satisfied in you. That's all I need right now. You are all I need. You are all I want. I don't want to be afraid to run to you. To just curl up in your lap and be solely rested in you. I need to learn to trust in you and you alone, for you know the plans for my life.
I also need to learn to take my thoughts, feeling, and emotions captive. I also need to learn to guard my heart. And to not think into things too much. It only leads to a broken heart. Feelings being crushed. Things being ripped apart again. And honestly I can't deal with that again. Maybe I'm just meant to be single. Maybe there is more to life than being in a relationship. I can't stand the thought of my heart being broken into a thousand pieces again and not knowing where to go again, or where to run. Or how to even fix the problem. Father, this is just a little of what's been on my heart lately.


So, I wrote this a few nights ago. I have been journaling every night since I've been at kamp, and honestly, it's probably the best way to keep everything in line in my life. I just need the few of you who will read this to keep me in your prayers. :)

I love you all! God Bless.

Love God. Love People.

Kamp, Kamp, Kamp.

Well what can I truly say about kamp to do it justice. I've actually decide, nothing I can say can actually do kamp justice. It's be an amazing two weeks so far. God has really been changing things in my life since I've been here. And I am truly excited to be a part of something so glorifying to God. It truly is something that changes hearts and lives. I am so excited that God has allowed me to be back here for my second summer. What truly amazes me here, is the staff. They are all such incredible men and women of God. It blows my mind. Being here makes me realize just how truly blessed I am. Being able to connect with staff here, and share testimonies, and just be with God.
Just a few things that have truly stood out to me. July 3rd, I was having a really rough night. Just a lot of things going through my head. So I spent some time in God's word, just seeking him. I prayed that He would just cleanse me of stuff I was dealing with. So I sat on our cabin porch and wrote in my journal, just how I was feeling and what was running through my mind. While I was writing, the weather started get bad. It started lightening and thundering, and it got pretty crazy. So i walked to the baseball office and found one of the girls I met while I have been here, her name is Arden, and she is truly a blessing in my life. We walked out to the gym and just waited for the weather to do whatever it was about to do. I had just listened to Let it Rain by Jesus Culture, so this is when things just go way cool. It soon started raining, and Arden and I just played in the rain for a while. Then we had an impromptu worship session. What amazed me, is how God just shows His magnificence to us. It is absolutely mind-blowing.

Pictures have been going great. I am letting God be glorified through my work, and I am just letting him use me. Whatever He wants me to do, is what I will do.

Joshua 1:9: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged for the Lord will be with you wherever you go. <3

God First. Others Second. I'm Third.
That's all for now.

Love God. Love People.