Oh my goodness...

I can't get over the fact that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. It just scares me to think how fast this year has gone by. Like really.

But this has been an awesome and exciting adventure, and I'm praying for God to do just lead me step by step, each and every day of my life.

This week just doesn't feel like Christmas. But anyways. Happy Birthday Jesus. Thanks for being born to die for me. You are truly the reason for the season. <3

Sometimes I hate how much I think...

So today is finally the big day! I am taking pictures at my first wedding as the main photographer. I am still not sure how I feel. I am truly excited and blessed that Kensi and Stephen have chose me to be their photographer. God has truly blessed my life beyond comprehension. Without a doubt He loves me and He cares. It's just an overwhelming thing to think about, the wedding pictures that is. Everyone trusts me, and keeps telling me I will do a good job, and I really hope I will.

So now I am just trying to relax my mind. I am sitting at Starbucks in Houma, sitting by the window, watching it rain. I am just trying to organize my thoughts. I have been trying to clear my head since I have been out of school, although I don't know if it's been working. I wish there was just a dial I could turn that would slow it down. Hmm. Anyways, I just want to get my priorities back in order. God first, Others second, and I'm third.

Ohhhh this day. Hmm, I am going to learn a lot about myself within the next few hours.

Oh my goodnesss.

I need to start blogging again! As soon as finals are over!

Ahhhhh.

Today is the best day EVERRRRRR :]

Psalm 119:33-56.

Oh Psalm 119:33-56:

^33-40 God, teach me lessons for living
so I can stay the course.
Give me insight so I can do what you tell me—
my whole life one long, obedient response.
Guide me down the road of your commandments;
I love traveling this freeway!
Give me a bent for your words of wisdom,
and not for piling up loot.
Divert my eyes from toys and trinkets,
invigorate me on the pilgrim way.
Affirm your promises to me—
promises made to all who fear you.
Deflect the harsh words of my critics—
but what you say is always so good.
See how hungry I am for your counsel;
preserve my life through your righteous ways!

^41-48 Let your love, God, shape my life
with salvation, exactly as you promised;
Then I'll be able to stand up to mockery
because I trusted your Word.
Don't ever deprive me of truth, not ever—
your commandments are what I depend on.
Oh, I'll guard with my life what you've revealed to me,
guard it now, guard it ever;
And I'll stride freely through wide open spaces
as I look for your truth and your wisdom;
Then I'll tell the world what I find,
speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.
I cherish your commandments—oh, how I love them!—
relishing every fragment of your counsel.

^49-56 Remember what you said to me, your servant—
I hang on to these words for dear life!
These words hold me up in bad times;
yes, your promises rejuvenate me.
The insolent ridicule me without mercy,
but I don't budge from your revelation.
I watch for your ancient landmark words,
and know I'm on the right track.
But when I see the wicked ignore your directions,
I'm beside myself with anger.
I set your instructions to music
and sing them as I walk this pilgrim way.
I meditate on your name all night, God,
treasuring your revelation, O God.
Still, I walk through a rain of derision
because I live by your Word and counsel.

This has been my prayer for the last couple of weeks. Just for God to guide me. To completely submit to Him, and allow Him to lead my life. For Him to give me some guidance as to where He wants me for this upcoming summer. I have really been praying about returning to El Salvador as an intern for two months. I just want an affirmation. I feel like my life is to chaotic to hear from Him. Why can't everything just slow down....

Is It Really November 1st?

According to my calendar it is. I can't get over how quickly October went by. I only have a month to do all my finals. Heckk yes!!!! I am so ready to be done with this semester. But it's going to take some serious all-nighters and a little neglecting towards my friends to get them done! But I am trying to stay positive.

And I spent the weekend in Houma, with my Jessie Ray. Words can't even begin to describe how incredible thankful I am for him. God has truly blessed me beyond all expectations.

Anyways I'm tired, and that's all for now.

Peace, Love, & God. Always.

:]

It's 4:09AM.

Is this what my life consists of now. Staying up all night to do homework. I'm really not sure how much more of this my body can handle. I have no idea how I will make it through the day tomorrow. Patiently and deliriously I guess. I thought I was going to be able to sleep well tonight. Hmph. Guess that was a fake. Ohh the joys of being a college student that takes on too heavy of a load.

On the brightside. I am no longer a red head. I am an official brunette, I've decided I've had enough red. it fades to fast and just annoys me. So brown it is. Boring, I know. Oh well. And also, Allison is going to make sure I don't dye my hair for a good several months. It needs a good break.

I think that's all I really have for right now. I will blog about lifegroup tonight when I am not so delirious.

Back to the homework.

Byeee for now. :]

Alice in Wonderland

Here are some of the photos from my Alice in Wonderland shoot :]

That's all for now.

Peace && Love.

:]

Another Plain Monday.

All I can do is breathe. I skipped my photography class, because I didn't have anything to work on. So I came to work at eight, and decided I was going to stay until my painting class, which is at one. But I'm not feeling to swell right now. My stomach is causing issues. I'm not exactly sure what's up with it. Hmph.

So here I am still at work. Blogging. Hah. Story of my life, trying to entertain myself while at work. I seriously have so much to do, that I don't even know where to start. Maybe getting off of Facebook was a good idea. Social networking is an excuse for me to stalk people in a non-creepy way, but since I am off I can manage my time right. Or at least I'm trying too. Praise the Lord that there are only 47 more days until December 10th. I am super stoked about that, but that means I have a ton of stuff due very soon. Pft. School is ridiculous.

Anyways I'm done with this mini freak out blog. Oh and I just wanted to thank God for blessing me with another beautiful Monday. :]

teach me to do your will for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10.

Peace && Love.

An Unproductive Sunday.

It is currently 5:37, and I haven't done much of anything today. I should've worked on my drawing sketchbook, or idea book, as Steve calls it. I just don't have any motivation. I slept until almost 11, so I really haven't been up for too long today. I went to church last night, so I wouldn't have to get dressed this morning.

I was a little more productive yesterday than I was today. I at least got outside and took some pictures, but that is besides the point.

I did finally type my notes for Steve's class so I can finally print them out for him, but I thing they are in the wrong format. But as of right now, I'm not really sure that I care. I do actually need to start making note cards for my art history test on Thursday. I'm pretty sure I'm not ready for it. There is a lot of information on it, that I just don"t feel like memorizing. Hah, sounds just like a bunch of laziness.

Anyways, these are just a few of the pictures I took yesterday:

And it has taken an hour for me to do this blog. I will be posting another one soon.

Before I go, I was looking for Mark 8:36, but I accidently looked up Mark 9:35. This is what it says: "Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

and here is what Mark 8:35 says: What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?

Mark 9:35 is what God dealt with me over this past summer while working at Kids Across America. Letting God be first, others be second, and myself be third. It really has been on my heart lately. And Mark 8:35, why would anyone want to gain the entire world, and lose his soul. Gaining the whole world may make you happy for a while, but eventually, you get tired of the same thing everyday. Just throwing that out there. That's all for now.

Peace && Love.

:]

October 23rd, 2010.

So, let's start with yesterday. It ended up being a really awesome day! I had school, then work. On the up side of that I got my old office back! It definitely made for interesting afternoon. After work, my dad picked me up, because my car was in the shop, and then we went to the Horseman. Oh the memories from going there when I was younger. I hadn't been there in ages. While I was there I started reminiscing about my past, and how I used to be around horses all the time. So when I got home I decided to take some photos of my horses. I am quite pleased with them also. Here are just a few of them.

So yesterday ended up being a great day! Oh and I also gave up all social networking: twitter, Facebook, etc. until Friday October 30th. So it is going to be a very interesting week. And also. it looks like I will be blogging a whole lot. :]

Although today hasn't been really productive. I started designing some business cards for a friend, but I really need to get out and do something. I'm thinking maybe church, maybe dinner after. I never know what's going on. That's all for now!!

Peace and Love. :)

Just for pure entertainment.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
- I would be sixteen, go back and do somethings differently.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?
- I think never trying, because if you fail, at least you can say you tried.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
- I think we do so many things we don't like to impress other people, too try and fit into this social environment. And I think we don't do things we like, because we are scared of what others may think of of, when truly, it doesn't matter.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
- I hope when everything is done, that I will have done more than I have said.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
- Abandonment in children's lives, and to give them hope for a better tomorrow. After all, they are our future.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
- Missionary work in El Salvador. Enough said.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
- I am doing what I believe in to the best of my ability.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
- I don't think I would live my life any differently than I am now. Day by day is the best way. Besides no one is guaranteed a tomorrow.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
- I mean I'm still in college, so I guess I have some kind of control over that.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
- Hmmm, probably doing the right things.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
- Second guess my admiration and my respect for them.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
- Umm. I'm not really sure.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?
- Of course.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
- All of the time. Thank you, ULL's art department.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
- Believe that I was created for a purpose, and that I was not made for this world, but made for something so much greater!!

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
- Personal preferences, everyone was made differently. If we were all created with the same personalities the world would be a boring place.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
- Move to another country. School is holding me back right now. But I will move to one someday.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
- Most definitely.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
- El Salvador. There is a lot of work that needs to be done there.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
- Haha, I actually do. And I don't really believe it makes it go faster. Especially not the one in the art building.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
- Joyful simpleton. I don't like being worried.

Why are you, you?
- I just am. It's the way I was created.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
- I really do strive to be, I know sometimes I fail miserably though.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
- A good friend that lives right by you.

What are you most grateful for?
- I am grateful for everything in my life. :]

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
- I don't like this question.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
- Yes.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?
- Yes. It happens everyday.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
- Yes, and no. It doesn't matter at all now.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
- I don't really remember my childhood. It's a bit of a blur.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
- Definitely right now, I am aware of what my purpose in life is. And it is the greatest adventure ever.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
- I have everything to lose. But technically nothing is really mine.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
- Oh yes, this is usually most of the time.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
- Religion is the reason for war. It isn't about religion, it's a relationship with Christ Jesus.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
- Yes. Just look at the world. It is a very evil place.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
- No, money isn't everything.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
- More work I actually enjoy doing.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
- No, each day is a different day. Another chance for me to fulfill my purpose.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
- Everyday. It's quite sad really.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
- Everyone.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
- Oh definitely not. I am already famous in God's eyes.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
- Being alive is just going through the day just as any other. Truly living is waking up each morning ready to take on the day, and to change a life one person at a time.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
- When you stop basing what you are doing off of people around you.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
- We are scared of learning, scared of being wrong. It's selfish pride that gets us.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
- I wouldn't do anything differently. I have lost all cares of what other people think. I just want to live a life worthy for God.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
- A few minutes ago. It's really quiet at home.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love God. Because he first loved us, we are able to love.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
- Definitely not. Unless I write it down. Which I probably should.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
- I am making them for myself. :]



VIDAxVIDA.

October 14, 2010.

Despite the events that have taken place since 12:30AM it is going to be a great day. I went to bed at around 9:30 last night, hoping to get a full night's rest, but that definitely didn't happen. I was awoken by my mother to turn off my lights, when she could have just turned them off. Then I heard a very loud noise, I felt like I was in the amazon or something, and I was about to get attacked by a jaguar or panther, or something of that nature. But, it ended up be a stupid CRICKET, how he got inside the house I have no idea, and of course after all of this nonsense I couldn't go back to sleep. So I stayed up until almost 2AM. Then woke up at 6:30 for school.

I have had a very eventful morning, including getting pulled over by a cop because my car refused to tell me it had a burnt brake light, causing me to be frantic about my test in geology. But on the bright side, I didn't get a ticket, and I got my light fixed. And I think I may have passed my geology test. Oh and I got Wendy's for lunch. Yes!!! :]

Now I am wasting my life away at work until 5. I am patiently waiting for Thursday Night Live, at 7PM, in the Bayou Bijou. Erik Buffin and I are going to do a quick announcement(announcement, announcement, announcement)!!! By the way, I miss all of my kamp friends.:[

And also awaiting the arrival of my Jessie Ray<3 and Ms. Erica Mula. :]
So So So excitedddddd.

And I look like a hippie today<3

Have a great day!!! :]

Seriously....

Does my Geology teacher seriously think that I should believe that the entire universe was formed from an explosion of matter. I seriously doubt that I was created from an explosion. Number 1: I am certain that something as complex as the universe was not created by an explosion!! He expects me to believe that is just happened. Hmph, well I just can't simply do that. Number 2: I believe that I was created for a higher purpose, and created for a much bigger picture that is really hard for a lot of people to understand. I don't believe it to just be chance that somehow matter floating in the universe exploded to form complex planets, stars, and galaxies. You were created for a purpose, have you found it yet. Have you found your identity, who you really are. Have you found what makes you happy, how you can make the world a better place. If not, you need to start searching. Number 3: I am positive that I learned absolutely nothing in Geology today.

Fact:

I really need to start blogging again. About everything. That's all for now. :]

Sunday, May 9th, 2010 8:45PM

Oh how my love for the people in El Salvador grows and we have only been here one day. Their stories touched my heart and almost made me cry, and I think it's just so amazing how God can use someone you don't even know to touch your heart, and reach you on different levels. They may not even have the same story as you, but it still touches you to hear their stories and see how great and wonderful God really is. It is still sinking in that I am on my first mission trip, in another country. What an awesome way to begin one of the best summers ever. Whatever happens, I am going to give it to God, no matter the circumstances.

Sunday, May 9th, 2010 6:17PM

The flight from Houston to El Salvador went great. I took a little nap and then I couldn't fall back asleep. When we finally landed in El Salvador it was absolutely breathtaking. It was interesting going through customs, especially since I don't speak a lick of spanish, hah. The ride on the bus was incredible, but it was sad going from the rich area, to straight poverty in a matter of minutes. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around. We learned our six dances, and it has been a wonderful first day.

Sunday, May 9th, 2010 9:21AM

Murphy: Sometimes you gotta go through something to get to what you need.

So the first flight went well. Now we are on a full flight to San Salvador, and we will be getting there in about three hours. I will probably fall asleep on this flight, just because I don't know if I will be able to keep my eyes open. I am also getting ready to turn my cell phone off for the last time and I am about to lose contact with everyone but the people on my team. It's going to be wierd not talking to anyone for 10 days. Hmmm.

Sunday, May 9th, 2010 7:18AM

So we get to the airport at 5:40AM, and security took a while to get through. Good news though, my bag only weighed 44.5 pounds!!! Woohoo!!! We boarded the plane on time, but with delays in Houston our flight got pushed back 30 minutes.
As I am sitting here looking out this window, I realize what I am actually about to do. This is my first time out of the country ever. I look at our amazing team God has put together, knowing we will get stuff accomplished once we get there.
Now we are in the air, and my nerves are building up. I don't know what to expect, all I know is that my world is about to be turned upside down. Although I am ready for it. I am open for change, and I am ready for God to mold my heart. I am also ready to see if this is going to be a passion of mine.
...Also, this flight is seeming to go pretty smooth. Houston, we are coming for you :)

Oh My Goodness.

I can't believe I will be in El Salvador in 15 days. It's crazy how time just flies by. May 9th is just around the corner! And I've also got all my money raised for the trip! So exciting!!! Keep my team in your prayers, we will need them :)

Final projects are due week after next, and it's starting to get crazy!!! Oh how I cannot wait for May 7th. I have been counting down since the beginning of the semester. It's sad I know, but it is finally creeping up. I've been taking crazy amounts of pictures, which is a good thing. I have finally got my website set up!! nataliephillips.zenfolio.com

And I have also ordered my first round of business cards! It's been an exciting past couple of months!! Tomorrow night is CPHS Prom, and I am taking the formal pictures, and I am so excited! I also have my last senior shoot tomorrow morning!! Yay for busy weekends.

Well that's all for now, sorry for not posting in a whileeee!

love, natalie. :)

64 Days in Counting!

It's getting really hard for me to believe that my team and I only have 64 days until we leave for El Salvador. It doesn't seem like it is right around the corner! I still have so much to do!! But I believe that if God gave me the opportunity to go on this trip, he will provide a way for me to go!

Tomorrow I will be second shooting for the first time at a wedding, and I am pumped!

Yay for an exciting weekend! :)

Love, natalie.

Too Much Excitement to Contain!!!

Words cannot even explain my excitement right now! A lot of things in my life are becoming much clearer to me.

This is probably the saddest part of this post, but the rest will be pure joy. Two days ago, three people I went to high school with, got in a really bad car accident, two died, and one is still alive. I went to the funeral home last night, to pay my respects, and I realized how quick memories come back. On June 12, it'll make three years that Haddie has been gone. She got hit head on by a drunk driver, and I didn't understand why her. There really isn't an explanation for it, but I know God needed her more than we did. Last night, I was talking to old classmates, and I realized, that there isn't anything to say to make any of this better, it just takes a lot of time for healing. It is also hard to believe that three years ago, I was in there shoes. it's just hard watching someone else go through exactly what you went through, and them not understanding why. My prayers go out to the class of 2010.

Next thing, I have 71 days until I leave for El Salvador, from May 9th through the 19th. This will be my first mission trip, and I am super excited. We are doing fundraisers, and I am in the midst of writing letters for support. All I know is that the next 71 days are going to be chaotic, and full of excitement!!!

And the next thing, two days after I get back from El Salvador, I leave for staff training at Kids Across America. I am one out of 2200 that will be working there this summer. I will be working at K-2, for the second term, which is June 23rd through July 19th. And my job there is being a photographer, which is what I love doing, so technically it's not a job! I am so excited about all of the doors that God has opened, that have been full of opportunites! I truly am blessed.

I will be posting another update soon! Oh, and happy birthday mom!

Love, natalie.

Oh, The New Beginning.

Hello 2010! So it's a new year and a new beginning, a time for change. For the next year, I am going to be blogging the changes of my life, both good and bad. Hopefully there will be more good than bad, but it's the experiences that matter.

SALT:

SALT described in one word = incredible. There is something amazing about a retreat with college students from across Louisiana, Arkansas, Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas and you can feel God moving amongst all of you. It was December 30th-January 3rd. I was reunited with all of my ULL Chi Alpha friends, and it was a great time. I had time to meet wonderful people from these five great states. It was a great way to start off a brand new year, with great speakers, worship, fellowship, and classes. It was life changing for me. I was constantly worried about my future and what I really wanted to do, and what I really want out of life, but I decided that I wasn't going to worry about it anymore. It is out of my control. I have decided to stop focusing on the future, and start focusing on the day in front of me. Why life for tomorrow, when I can't stop long enough to appreciate today.

The Daniel Fast:

I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled. Daniel 10:3.

So today is day four of my Daniel Fast, which is twenty one days. It is strictly fruits and vegetables and whole grains and water. I am pretty excited about my relationship with God drastically growing over the next three weeks. I've developed this hunger in my heart to get to know him more and more. I've already noticed some changes in myself along with my relationship with God.

ULL Spring Semester 2010:

Also, school started this past Wednesday. So far, it's been good. I am taking 15 hours again this semester, only this go round it is only two studio classes, instead of three. I am taking sculpture, intermediate photography, sociology 100, geology 105, and my third art history. I definitely shouldn't be as stressed as last semester, but then again it's only the third day. Also, last night was our first "Thursday Night Live" for Chi Alpha, and we are back in the Bayou Bijou, in the union. Which is pretty exciting in itself. Now we grow like no other, it's thrilling really.

And I'm pretty sure that's all for now! :)

--Natalie Ann Phillips